Privacy
What we keep. What we don’t.
Your partner never sees what you write unless you approve it.
The short version
- What you write is private to you. Your partner only ever sees the exact words you approve to share, never a summary of your private notes. Paying for a subscription never gives anyone access to the other person’s data.
- To write a draft or a reply, what you type is sent to our model provider, Anthropic. Unspoken is automated guidance, not therapy or crisis support.
- The app (app.un-spoken.us) has no advertising pixels, and what you write is never sold or shared for advertising. To understand whether pages and campaigns work, Unspoken keeps a first-party navigation record for up to 90 days using random browser and session identifiers: page path, referrer host, campaign tags, device class, your country (from your connection) and milestones such as “started the free tool” or “reached checkout”. It covers the store (www.un-spoken.us) and the app: the random identifiers travel in the link when you move between them, and the session identifier is attached to a Together checkout so a completed subscription can be counted for that session. It is not tied to your account and never contains what you write, your email, IP address or user-agent. If you arrived from one of our ads, we also tell Meta, once per step, that the ad click led to a visit, a draft being started and a completed draft (for Love Story Comic: a visit, a story being started and the checkout being opened), using Meta’s click identifier, your IP address and your browser’s user-agent so Meta can match the click (see “Who processes it for us”). When you buy Together or a Love Story Comic after an ad click, the click identifier travels with the order as a hidden line and we tell Meta that the click led to a subscription or a purchase, with its amount, never your email, name or what you bought beyond that. In the EEA, the UK and Switzerland none of this is sent unless you choose “Allow” in the small banner shown to visitors who came from one of our ads; your choice is kept on this device. . Visitors outside the EEA, the UK and Switzerland are also counted by Google Analytics on the store and in the app: which pages are opened and the same milestones, never what you write, your email or your account (see “Who processes it for us”). Our Shopify store also uses Shopify’s own analytics and marketing tools, described in the store’s privacy policy.
- To see which topics matter most, we count the topic of each conversation (for example “money” or “time together”), without the text and without linking it to you.
- When you use Before You Send without an account, we keep an anonymous copy of what you wrote and of the draft for 180 days, to improve Unspoken. It is stored without your email, account or any identifier of your browser or network, so it can’t be traced back to you. Signed in, we keep what you write only if you turn on “Help improve Unspoken” (off by default); turning it off deletes it.
- You can export or delete your data from Settings at any time.
What we collect, by feature
| Feature | What we keep | What we don’t keep |
|---|---|---|
| Website and app navigation | For up to 90 days: random browser and session identifiers, page path, referrer host, campaign tags (UTM), device class and a fixed list of product milestones (for example a draft written, a sign-in link requested, checkout reached, a subscription started). The random browser identifier is also kept in your browser for up to 90 days; the session identifier rolls after about 30 minutes of inactivity. | No message or form text, email, account identifier, IP address, user-agent, precise location or replay recording. |
| Before You Send, example | Nothing. The examples are pre-written and run in your browser. | Nothing is sent to us or to Anthropic. |
| Before You Send, your own message (no account) | A usage record: your country (from your connection), a daily one-way code derived from your network address to apply the daily limit, whether a safety message was shown, and the time. Your email, if you give it to get a draft or, after a draft, to keep it in a free account: it goes to our email provider (Klaviyo) so we can send you relationship tips and product news. You can unsubscribe from any email, and your email is never linked to what you wrote. An anonymous copy of your text and of the draft, kept for 180 days (see Improving Unspoken). | Your name or email with your text: the copy is stored without your email, account, browser or session identifiers, network address or time of day. Safety conversations are not copied. The text also goes to Anthropic to write the draft. Only the random navigation identifiers described above are kept in your browser. |
| Account (sign-in by email link, no password) | Your email, the name you choose, the country you choose, your 18+ confirmation and a record of the notices you accepted. A session cookie keeps you signed in; we only store a hash of it. | Passwords (there are none). Sign-in links work once and expire after 20 minutes. |
| Talk | Without an account: the same usage record as Before You Send. Signed in, only if you turn on pattern memory (off by default): for each Talk, the topic (from a fixed list), up to three need labels, the suggested move, how often it has come up, a short label of a few words, the steps of the loop and the suggested thing to try. Also the experiments you start, how they went, and your weekly check-in answers. Turning pattern memory off deletes what it kept. | Your words and the drafted message are not stored (they go to Anthropic to be worked through and are discarded). Nothing from Talk, Patterns, experiments or check-ins is shown to your partner. |
| Coach | Your messages and the replies, in your private space. Without memory, they expire after 24 hours and are deleted from our database by a daily job. With memory on (off by default), they stay until you delete them; turning memory off deletes them. | Nothing from your Coach is shown to your partner. |
| Saved drafts, Playbooks, weekly plans, saved ideas | What you choose to save, in your private space, until you delete it. | Nothing is shared unless you approve a specific piece. |
| Partner link and Reset (Unspoken Together) | The link between your two accounts. Invitation codes are stored as a hash, work once and expire after 7 days. In a Reset, your reflection stays private; only the exact words you approve are shared, and you can withdraw them. Unlinking ends shared access and cancels open Resets. | We never contact your partner for you. Neither of you can see the other’s private notes, Coach or drafts. |
| Subscription (checkout on our Shopify store) | Your plan, its status and renewal date, linked to your account. A fingerprint of each payment notification, to process it exactly once. If you pay before creating your account, a one-way hash of the checkout email is kept until you sign in with that email, then the plan is attached to your account. One subscription covers both linked partners. | Card details (handled by Shopify’s checkout). We don’t store order contents or your address. |
| Love Story Comic (your illustrated book) | Your answers and the story we write with you; the email you give after approving your story, kept with it until you tap the sign-in link we email you (then it becomes your account’s email); if you buy the book first, it joins the account of the email used for the order, created if needed, so our emails about your book reach you; the photos you upload and a head-and-shoulders crop of each face, used only to draw your book; the drawings, pages and book files; your order and, for a printed book, the name, delivery address and phone number from checkout, kept until the book ships. Our team may look at a book to check its quality; it’s never shared. | Photos are not used for anything else and never used to train AI models. Photos are deleted 30 days after your book is delivered (14 days after your last change if you never order). Your partner sees nothing unless you share the book. |
| Older reports (questionnaire products sold before September 2026) | Conversation, answers and report, linked to the access code in your link, and an email if you entered one. Report downloads expire after one hour. | No public links. Keep your access link private. |
Who processes it for us
- Vercel: hosting of the app.
- Supabase: database and file storage, United States (us-east-1).
- Anthropic: the language model that writes drafts and replies. Under Anthropic’s commercial terms, data sent through its API isn’t used to train its models by default.
- Meta: only if you arrived by clicking one of our Facebook or Instagram ads. Our server tells Meta when that ad click led to a visit of at least 10 seconds on Before you send, to you starting to write, and to a first completed draft, sending Meta’s click identifier (from the link you clicked), the name of the step, your IP address and your browser’s user-agent, so Meta can match the visit to the ad. Never what you wrote, your email or your account. Nothing is sent to Meta at all for visitors in the EEA, the UK or Switzerland. The identifier stays on your device for 7 days and each step is sent at most once.
- Google (Google Analytics 4): for visitors outside the EEA, the UK and Switzerland, page views on the store and the app (including signed-in pages) and the fixed milestone names above. Google receives the page path and campaign tags (no other part of the address; on signed-in pages the path is also used as the page title), the referring site, your IP address and browser details, and sets an analytics cookie. Never what you write, your email, your name or your account. Google signals and advertising features are off, and Google’s data sharing options are switched off.
- Magnific (Freepik): the image models that draw Love Story Comic books from your photos, including OpenAI’s image model through Magnific. They receive your photos (or the face crops) and the scene descriptions, only to make the drawings.
- Lulu: prints and ships printed Love Story Comic books. It receives the print files and the name, delivery address and phone number needed to deliver the book.
- Resend: sign-in links and service emails.
- Klaviyo: product emails. When you have an account, Klaviyo receives your email, your account identifier and neutral activity (for example “saved a draft”, “started a Reset”, your plan), never what you write. Ideas and offers by email are sent only if you opt in; if you also choose topics in “Your focus”, those topics are used to pick what we send you.
- Shopify: our store and checkout at www.un-spoken.us, with its own privacy policy for purchases and store visits.
- Zoho Mail: our support mailbox, if you write to us.
Unspoken is available outside the United States. Wherever you live, your data is processed in the United States by the providers above.
Access and security
The database only accepts requests from our server, and every request is tied to your signed-in session, never to an identifier sent by your browser. Your private content is readable only by your account. Shared content is readable only by the two members of the link, and only while the link is active.
How long we keep it
- Sign-in links: 20 minutes, then deleted. Sessions: 30 days.
- Coach without memory: 24 hours, then deleted by a daily job.
- Pattern memory, experiments and check-ins: until you turn pattern memory off, delete them, or delete your account.
- Your saved content: until you delete it or delete your account.
- First-party navigation events: 90 days, then deleted by the daily job. The random browser identifier on your device is replaced after 90 days; the session identifier rolls after about 30 minutes of inactivity.
- Usage records for the daily limit: kept to prevent abuse; we have not set an automatic deletion period yet.
- Love Story Comic: photos and face crops, 30 days after delivery (14 days after your last change for a book never ordered); unordered stories, 30 days after your last change; your book files, one year after purchase; the delivery address of a printed book, until it ships. All deleted by the daily job, or sooner when you delete the story or your account.
- Anonymous copies of Before You Send drafts: 180 days, then deleted by a daily job. As they can’t be linked to you, we can’t find or delete one person’s copy on request.
- Topic counts: kept, as they contain nothing that identifies you. “Help improve Unspoken” samples: 12 months, then deleted by a daily job, or sooner if you turn it off.
- Deleting your account (Settings) immediately erases your private content, replaces anything you had shared with “[deleted]”, ends the partner link and removes your email and sign-in identity. A subscription record without your email may be kept for accounting.
Improving Unspoken
- Topic counts (everyone). When Before You Send, Coach or a Playbook writes an answer, the AI also labels the main topic from a fixed list (such as money, chores, time together, trust, intimacy). We store that label with the goal and tone you picked, your country and the day. Not your text, not your account, not your network address, not the time. We use these counts to decide what to build, write and promote. Safety conversations are not counted.
- Anonymous drafts (Before You Send, without an account). We keep a copy of what you write in Before You Send and of the draft, with the topic, the goal and tone you picked, your country and the day. Before storing, we remove email addresses, phone numbers, links and @handles; names you write may remain, so leave them out if you prefer. The copy is stored without your email, account, browser or session identifiers, network address or time of day, so neither we nor anyone else can tell who wrote it. Our team may read these copies to understand what people need, improve our prompts and train or evaluate AI models for Unspoken. They are never sold or shared for advertising, never include safety conversations, and are deleted after 180 days. When you’re signed in, nothing is copied this way; only “Help improve Unspoken” applies.
- Your focus (optional). In Settings you can pick the topics you want help with. They’re stored on your account to suggest ideas, Playbooks and offers that fit, and sent to Klaviyo only if you opted in to ideas and offers by email.
- Help improve Unspoken (optional, off by default). If you turn it on, at sign-in or in Settings, we keep what you write in Before You Send, Coach and Playbooks while signed in, with the AI’s answer and the topic label. Before storing, we remove email addresses, phone numbers, links and @handles; names you write may remain, so leave them out if you prefer. Samples are stored without your name, email or account identifier, under a one-way code that only lets us delete them when you ask. We use them to study what people need, to improve our prompts and to train or evaluate AI models for Unspoken. They are never shared for advertising or sold, never include safety conversations or anything your partner wrote, and are deleted after 12 months. Turning it off, or deleting your account, deletes them. You can see yours in your data export.
Links to other sites
Date idea pages link to activities on Viator and to gift ideas on Amazon. You book or buy directly on those sites, under their own privacy policies; we don’t see what you buy. As an Amazon Associate, Unspoken earns from qualifying purchases, and Viator may pay a commission on bookings. Commissions never change what we suggest or in what order. If you enter your city to see activities, it stays in your browser and is only used for that search. None of this appears in your Coach, Playbooks or Reset.
Your choices
- Leave names out of what you write if you like.
- Turn Coach memory, pattern memory or “Help improve Unspoken” on or off, choose your focus, turn ideas and offers by email on or off, export your data, unlink from your partner or delete your account in Settings.
- Withdraw anything you shared in a Reset.
- For older access-code reports, or any other request, write to support@un-spoken.us and we’ll confirm when it’s done.
- If you’re under 18, please don’t use Unspoken. A parent or guardian may add a photo of their child to a Love Story Comic; it is used only to draw that book and deleted with the other photos.
If you’re not safe
Unspoken can’t monitor conversations or send help. In the US, call 911 in an emergency. Elsewhere, call your local emergency number, or find a free helpline at findahelpline.com. See If you need help now.